Was I the reason behind this mess, did I spoilt the
celebration. Well partially YES and everyone in my family thinks so especially
my mother and father. Today the fourth day of Tihar i.e Mhapuja means
worshiping oneself. I was very tired but happy that my friend helped me through
the application I am working, which is still not complete. I came back home and
immediately after my lunch, my brother and I started to clean the house which
we are suppose to and always do during this festival. Actually I am really
proud of my brother; he is not like other men/boys in my community, who enjoy
the festival playing cards and rooming around. He is always ready to help us
with household work and understands that we, women also get tired and have
right to enjoy the festival rather than always being busy in kitchen and
household work.
"Why are you always like this? Just because you support
the house, are you trying to dominate us, you are being autocrat. Is this the
way educated girls behave?" My father reacted with anger to me. Actually
after cleaning the house, not even taking a second we started to prepare for Mhapuja.
But my father was busy playing cards. First my mother went to call him, she
went once more time then my brother went. Then I went and he didn't come. I
again went and said "do you have any plan for doing Mhapuja". This went very rude to him and his companions
who were my neighbors and reacted saying "Is this how educated girls behave?"
Well, I have a question, is this how educated men behaves and treats people.
Playing cards whole day and making women in their family work their best and
not even few minutes to enjoy.
We started the Mhapuja after my father's arrival. The top most position goes to my father, then
my mother ops made a mistake, it's my brother, then only mother, then me and
finally my sister. According to the age group my brother is the youngest in my
family but guest what just because he is "The HE", he got the higher
position than his own mother. Isn't it fantastic?? Well, for boys/men of course
but for girls/women, has any one bother to think from our point of view? Last
year, I said why the youngest sitting in second top position? That's why this
year my brother just sat in the lowest position where my sister sat all her
life. Suddenly, my father got angry and shouts and expressed his
dissatisfaction. And guess what my mother supported him and my brother went and
take his position, like he knew that this is what going to happen, very
clever.
As we, the second generation in family were angry because we
waited for an hour and I had mine own dissatisfaction regarding the position of
my brother, my father was angry because of my point of view and dissatisfaction
and my mother was worried and actually cried saying what will I do when they'll
marry me off? Will I be able to keep up their name? Will I be able to make them
proud my sacrificing all my rights and being blind to the discrimination? I
wonder when my mother will express her worries that how will my brother keep
them proud by sacrificing his rights. I don't think I ever heard her being
worried and expressing her concern about family's proud relating my brother's
activities. For me the question is "Are only women are supposed to scarifies?
Are we the balli ka bakras??
I think it's time to take a break. Because we are NOT.
