THIRTY FIVE MINUTES in taxi………….

We cannot demolish it, what we can do is only transform. "Chhaupadi" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chhaupadi) is their culture and directly impacts their caste and culture. That's why even lots of programs and new thoughts are being useless when it comes to demolish it. It is near to impossible at least a far cry to achieve this goal. It will exist in the community but might be in different form. Well everything changes with time so do our culture but mind my words it only changes, transforms itself but eradication…….

Yes, migration is making a positive impact; you can see they give damn care to this thing. But only because they have to cope with the life style of the new society and another is they don't get that social structure and environment even if they want to follow it, where are they going to get a cowshed or chhaupadi hut to stay? So either they leave it or they modify according to their comfort zone. But those who give damn care here again follow the custom when they get back. They know it very well that they can not leave alone, they need family, friends and society. So, they just find easy to follow the rules and regulations of their society rather than fighting against them. And one more things we should never forget is those cultures are formed by their own people and they know it more than anything else.

You belong to Newari community, right? though you know it very well that "Gufa" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newa_people) effects on girls mental and physical health but still can not stand and go against it because the chain is very strong, stronger than anything else in your life, the chain of your society, culture, where you belong to.  Singing, dancing, wearing, speaking, eating, learning, loving, caring, crying, smiling, breathing…. can you ignore it. Yes, if you are strong enough you might try to convince them if not may be fight like a child but will never go against them. Because even if you don't but your every single sense every single cell knows that this is where you belong this is what you are and this is the only place where you can go back and stay safe.

It took about thirty five minutes to drive me from Tripureshwor to Gongabu buspark. He works as a taxi driver; I don't know even his name.  It was our first meeting but he shared his point of view on redefining our culture.

He is right our culture, society, family defines us but we cannot keep on being blind that our own people, culture encouraged gender disparity and kept and keeping women in subordination role. And in result we can see women and girls are suffering from various forms of violence every moment and turning our father, brother, uncle, teacher……violent and taking them far far away from peace, love and gentleness. And because we are among them, we belong to it ONLY WE CAN BRING CHANGE, ONLY WE CAN SAVE IT.

Never Ending Stories

Amperi, a 11 years old girl, is getting ready to join her girl friends to collect firewood immediately after having morning meal. Washed her face and used a shawl as towel and went to kitchen and get leftover rice which was also less than half of her regular and took some salt and chilly along and packed in the shawl and tighten in her wrest. Again ran inside and came up with big axe and get it inside her wrest and locked by the shawl. Now, is all ready to join her group of friends. She is happy as they are going to chat and sing songs and enjoy in forest while collecting the wood. She did not feel tired even though she just came back from colleting bushes for the domestics and rushing to meet her friends. While she was leaving there was a big smile in her face.

A group of girls of age 8 to 14 was coming down to village with about 30 to 40 kilograms of wood on their back in doko. The load was highly dominating their weight. A 30 kilograms weighted girl carries 30 to 40 kilograms of load everyday, wow! When they got near I recognized that they were Amperi and group, looking tired and hungry. They left at 9 am in the morning and it's already 5pm, exact hours of their school.

The school remained close most of the time, even if it opened there were only two or three teachers and they were also busy chatting in the office room while the students of Early Child Development (ECD) were playing the role of teacher and student turn by turn and rest of the student in the school were hanging around and playing. Most of the students were boys and girls were absent. It's the scenario of the school in Mugu.

Amperi, who was already feeling sleepy, pushed her plate near to her mother asking for plenty of dahl (lentil). But her mother pushed it back to her without serving. She understood that she is not going to get dahl (lentil) so, continue with rice only. Her family (mother, father, brother, sister in law, niece, me and herself ) were having dinner together at 8 pm. Me, her brother and niece were served with curd, dahl (lentil) and rice while her mother, sister in law and she had rice and dahl.  Rest of the member got dahl (lentil) added but except her.

The environment of school, careless behavior of teachers and parents, deep rooted patriarchal society and lack of information, empowerment and motivation all are together draging girls like Amperi out of school resulting on early marriage and early child bearing.